Self-Teachings

I am teaching myself how to be numb
That distinct pain in the chest that’s getting all too familiar
Every time you bid me good night and choose not to say anything at all
The pain sears right through
But I am slowly getting it
I am slowly getting there
To the point where I can finally stand not seeing you for five days straight, as opposed to the usual one day breakdown
To the point where I am able to endure long hours without hearing from you
To the point where I have finally decided to stop denying the hard fact that you’ll never be able to give me what I have given you
Show me what I have shown you
So I choose to be less generous
Slowly but surely, creeping but unerringly
I am starting to love myself more than I love you.

Yuck.

I can’t believe I just wasted a whole pack of Instax Mini films worth 400+php on the suckiest photos I’ve ever taken in my whole life (a bit of an exaggeration, but still). As you might know, I’m very new to the Diana F+. I’ve only spent 1 roll of ISO 400 film and 3 rolls of ISO 100’s, all of which haven’t been developed yet so I haven’t seen the resulting photos.

Nevertheless, I decided to try out my Instant Back with some Instax mini films at ISO 800. And lo and behold, how so very hideous they all turned out to be!! Can you just imagine what I’ll be greeted with once I get my first rolls of film developed?? Because I think I can.

Anyway, to make myself feel better and not feel too bad about that pack of Instax films I just massacred (and those precious moments that I thought I was gonna be able to preserve on film huhuhu), I decided to turn this into a learning experience by jotting down the settings of each photo to find out where I went wrong.

The first two photos are test shots on some of my Zoo Yorks, and they turned out to be the best focused ones. Flash ON, 1-2M focus setting, aperture set to Sunny, N shutter. I asked Eric to take the third photo. Same settings as the first two, except with the aperture set to Cloudy.

All three photos were taken more or less at arm’s length. I’m guessing the third photo failed because it got overexposed. Better keep that aperture at Sunny.

Photo#4 is just…WTF. Ugh. I won’t even. Photo#5, a bit blurry, and I’m pretty sure I should have set it to the 2-4M focus setting instead of 1-2M. Or not. I’ve yet to experiment on another batch of films to find out.

These three are all very badly focused, and for what reason I haven’t got the slightest idea. Photo#6 taken with the 1-2M focus setting, photo#7 at 2-4M, photo#8 at 4M-infinity. Same subjects, different focus settings, but all still very blurry!! I even chose to take photos of my shoe rack at a slanted angle so that the shoes will be at varying distances just to be safe. By doing so, I thought I’d even get at least one shoe clear. But no. Not even a single shoe. I don’t even know how to start expressing how frustrating this is. If anybody knows where I went wrong please please please do enlighten me. ;_;

Photos 9 and 10 were taken using the Bulb shutter setting, meaning I got to hold the shutter down for as long as I wanted. I held the shutter down 10 seconds for photo#9. For photo#10 I shot two exposures on one film, 3 seconds for the first one (of Eric) and then proceeded to use the N shutter setting for the second exposure (ceiling lights of Mr. Kurosawa). I liked the dreamy effect produced on these 2 photos, but still a bit blurry. I know I’m going to have to work on steadying my hands while shooting long exposures.

So there you have it. My first try using the Diana F+ Instant Back. I’d really appreciate it if any experienced user out there gave me any advice. Taking sucky photos sucks arse. As in…geez what a sucky feeling. Haha. I really wanna be good at this!! I’ll be sure to get my rolls of film developed soon. Let’s see how that goes.

Family Reunion

Our clan’s annual family reunion for 2011 was a little bit different this year. Instead of holding it in our house, we rented out the Valle Verde 1 Clubhouse. I guess it’s a better place to hold the party because it’s a more intimate and contained venue. First, there aren’t any rooms for the kids to hide in. And second, no PS3 to distract me and my cousins lol. The only downside to renting out a place is the time limit. We only had time to party til 11PM else we’ll be paying extra. And nobody likes paying extra. Haha.

But I could say for sure that I had better photos this year. The lighting was absolutely heavenly with all the Christmas lights!

I was having so much fun with the lights and my sister’s 50mm f/1.4 lens! Can you say bokeh?? We exchanged lenses for the night. She used my 24-70mm I think.

Because I wanna start shooting weddings and prenups hahaha. Sampling on my sister Alodia and Ren.

Cousin Enzo’s signature pose! He has a photo like this every year during reunions.

My baby James. HAHA. Eric and his military cut.

Eric’s beginning to take nicer photos. I must be a good teacher.

Daddy!

If I’m right, she’s the newest addition to the clan. :)

As promised, here’s a photo of the G-shock I got Eric for Christmas!

Philosopher Eric. Oo kasi pilosopo siya hahaha keedeeng.

With my super cute niece and nephews!

My sister Alodia and I with cousins Enzo and Gubs! Missing El and Julian! :(

Family photo!

Gubs, Enzo, Ash, Melissa, and Alodia. Cousins for life!!! HAHA malamang.

And now, I shall steal photos from my sister.

The Gosiengfiaos!

And I sure as heck thought this game was only reserved for soirees!!! HAHAHA this was the funniest game of the night!!!

Mom and dad. Geez my mom is so white!! *_*

And more cousins!

My dad and his big brother Tito Ruben. They look so much alike!

This is my Tita Roslyn. Everybody’s saying that we look alike. Her son Paolo even told me that he saw pictures of his mom when she was younger, and she looked so much like me! I guess I now know that I’ll be a hot momma when I grow older. Hahaha

Mama Dory and Papa Joe! 89 and 90 years old, respectively! And strong as ever!! Papa Joe always lets me feel his rock hard tummy haha, and he likes touching my muscles!

It was Eric’s 2nd time to attend our reunion and still the shy boy. ;p

I LOVE MY FAMILY!! Til next year!

My 13 before 2013 list

Here’s my list of 13 things to achieve before the year ends! Because goals are dreams with deadlines. I’ll transfer this list to my sidebar one of these days so it won’t get lost in all the blog entries to come.

So by the end of the year, I swear to:

1. Write enough songs for an album.
2. Shoot at least a dozen self-portraits.
3. Learn how to bake something…anything.
4. Go back to the gym and/or enroll in yoga classes.
5. Get my teeth straightened for the third and final time.
6. Cut my hair short.
7. Sell some of my old clothes online to make way for new ones.
8. Purchase monitor speakers for my home recording setup.
9. Take a bunch of lomo photos to fill up an entire wall in my room.
10. Finally go on that beach trip with my friends that we’ve been trying to plan ever since that summer right after graduating from high school (2007).
11. Double my current money savings.
12. Achieve super flawless skin that would allow me to go anywhere without any makeup at all.
13. Reach 400,000 likes on Facebook. :)

Fireworks ‘12

Happy new year everyone! :) As usual, these are the only photos I can show you for now because the rest were taken with my Diana F+!

All photos © Ashley Gosiengfiao 2012

More presents!!

Here are more presents I got for Christmas and for my birthday!

Thank you so much to Freshgear for giving me these Muji body products and Laura Mercier lippies! <3

And also to my sis Alodia, Ren, and my titos titas ninongs and ninangs from the Chavez family for all these stuff!!

Merry Christmas!

Eric and I spent the afternoon of the 24th shopping for gifts. Yes we are such huge crammers, aren’t we. ;p I also took the time to get him a present as well. I wanted to bring him along when buying his present because I wanted to get him a new pair of shoes. Of course, it’d be best and less of a hassle if he’d be there to try them on. But we ended up getting a G-shock instead. A white one to match mine! Haha. Pictures of that to follow. ;p

Actually, I’ll be posting a lot of late photos probably in the coming weeks because I’ve outgrown digital photography and discovered the wonders of film. Baliktad yata? Haha.

Here are the photos my sister Alodia took from our Christmas Eve spent with the Chavez family. :)

Family pic!

Checking out Tito Francis’ new keyboard. He gave me a lot of CDs of software instruments to upgrade my Logic Studio! Can’t wait to try them out!

Our second Christmas together!! <3

And here are the photos from Eric’s Instax 7s! (The one I got him for his birthday heehee.)

Happy Holidays!!! :)

Birthday dinner!

I’ve been delaying my second birthday blog post because I really wanted to wait for the pictures that I took with that shiny new Diana F+ that Eric gave me for my birthday. However, I am currently only on my 3rd roll of film, and I need to finish 5 rolls and have them all developed together because it’s cheaper that way.

1 roll of film = around P250 (x5) = P1250 
Having 5 rolls of film developed = P275 
TOTAL = P1525

I think I will be able to foresee my wallet’s destiny. I think lang naman.

So while we are restlessly patiently waiting for those, here are the photos that were mostly taken by my sister Alodia with her 7D during the Paseo dinner that my dad treated all of us to as a gift for me hihi.

There’s me and Eric consuming my first ever roll of film.

Looking at the Diana like it was some kind of revolutionary discovery.

Mom and dad.

Ren and my sis Alodia.

Some yummy sushi.

Now I think it’s pretty obvious that I took these ones (with my 5D Mk II). You should notice the different editing style (and lens used, if photography is in your vocabulary). And, well, duh of course, it’s Eric. I like taking pictures of beautiful things that catch and hold my attention.

NAKS QUESO NA BOLA PA!!!

Family photo! Another one taken with my 5D.

And because it was my birthday, I will show you more pictures of who else but myself!! (Haha. I’m kidding. This is the reason why I wanted to wait for my lomo photos. But oh well.)

Nahh. Of course there will always be photos of ze lovely sister.

So there. At least I finally got to share with you another part of my birthday this year. Part 3 (other gifts) and part 4 (lomo pics) coming soon!

❤ Ashley

P.S.

Please help the Sendong victims in any way you can. Here’s how.
(Poster by twistedfork.)

Birthday presents!

I am a very very lucky girl to have such thoughtful and generous people in my life! Look at these birthday presents I got this year!!

I super duper adore watches, so my mom got me a white G-shock GD100-SC from Singapore, and my big sister Alodia got me this cool touchscreen Swatch watch!

Here’s some really nice orange and yellow flowers which my Easy Pha-max wheatgrass family sent me! <3

My bestfriend Joanne got me a bottle of Gap Dream Body Mist, but I forgot to take a solo picture haha! It’s so funny because it’s totally her scent that when I actually sprayed it on, I definitely smelled like her and then I got the feeling that she was there wherever I went. What a great way to remind somebody of yourself. Just give that person a bottle of that perfume you use the most hahaha. Kainis. :))

And since of course, I am very much into photography, my boyfriend Eric got me this really cute Mr. Pink Diana F+!!! I remember going into a Team Manila store with him just to ogle at all those cool-looking lomo cameras. I did NOT expect him to get me one. Haha.

Since he gave it to me during our 14th monthsary, which was a day before my birthday, I had a day to do some research, and then I bought this Diana F+ accessory for myself right on my birthday!

It’s called an Instant Back, which transforms the Diana F+ into something like an Instax mini!!! Meaning, instantly printed photos! Yay!

Aaaand, here’s how it looks like once attached to the Diana F+!

I hung a guitar charm on it too that I bought from Hong Kong this summer, which I never found any use for until now. Now my Diana F+ looks pimped up! I’m just waiting for Team Manila to restock on Fisheye lenses, or I’m just going to have to look elsewhere. Help, anyone? Hehe.

Anyways, dad’s gift to me was a dinner treat at Paseo, Mandarin Hotel! But I shall save that story for another blog post. :D

❤ Ashley